Don’t underestimate the power of ‘hello’

The meaning and message of allyship

The panel got to the heart of what it really means to be an ally.

The panel of diversity and allyship experts emphasised at the outset that allyship was more than simply embracing a fashionable cause for a short period of time. Panel chair Donovan Hutchnson, Founder & CEO of D & A Services International Ltd pointed out that there is more to his work that Pride month. Jennifer Belllo, a trainer and diversity advocate raised the importance of starting conversations rather than brandishing badges.

“Diversity isn’t limited to just one month,” she said. “We bring our life and identity and who we are every day. Focusing on intention and education rather than on accolades or a badge is good. I’d advise less focus on achieving something and more focus on starting honest conversations around diversity, intersectionality and lack of access for marginalised communities.”

Jamie Brothwell, MD of Exertis thinks there is a lot to be said for keeping it simple.

“There’s no underestimating the power of ‘hello.’ How many times do you walk past someone in your business and ask them how they are? Ask them about something that’s going on in their life.”

A challenge that many on the audience might have been quietly feeling is the fear of saying the wrong thing. The language of diversity and allyship can appear intimidating. Jamie Brothwell transitioned in her early thirties and one of the most upsetting parts of the process was colleagues choosing to ignore her in case they said the wrong thing.

“Don’t be scared to say the wrong thing,” she said. “To say nothing is worse. If you’re coming from a place of good heart, it’s ok to make mistakes. We need authentic people, and we want people to be genuine and inquisitive. I went six months without people taking to me.”

On Privilege

Privilege is a word that has really been weaponised. It’s unfortunate because those that have it won’t share it if they feel continually attacked. Those who are lectured on their privilege are unlikely to thank anyone for doing so and are actually far more likely to go on the defensive.

Jennifer Bello said: “For me, privilege is just about holding the door open. A lot of the time we have to be prepared to lose something, to give something to someone else. Privilege is comfortable, it’s a desire to not want change because it feels nice where you are. It’s using your voice to being people into the room and not being the spokesperson.”

Neurodiversity coach and ally Kirsty Smith developed the point but noted the importance of kindness when challenging people.

“I’ve had to learn a few uncomfortable things about myself, but I share them with people hoping they will be encouraged to do the same. You don’t get growth without challenge and some discomfort. It’s easier to keep the status quo. You can challenge but with kindness.”

“We have to be compassionate with ourselves,” continued Jennifer. “I think a good first step is diversifying your community outside of work. If you’re a reader, read more books by Black authors. If you like music go to different cultural shows and displays of identity. That all flows into your work and you’re more open to learning and more open to being challenged.”

Jamie Brothwell emphasised that we all have a responsibility to try and consider the experiences of others, and that when it comes to changing culture, leadership might not have all the answers.

“It’s not just the responsibility of leaders to have all the answers,” she said. “We’re all custodians of our culture. As long as leadership is willing to listen and allow people to be part of the journey and the organisation wants to evolve through the likes of ERGs and work streams, then that’s great.

“But the nature of the type of leaders we have in our industry means they won’t necessarily be equipped with all the answers today. I think it’s important that people recognise that we are all responsible for change and driving things forward.”