World of Work Quiz

You spend more than half your life inside it, but how much do you really know about the world of work? Test yourself with our fiendish quiz.

1. According to the latest Office for National Statistics report, the average gross weekly pay for women is £310. And for men?

A £427

B £313

C £502

2. On which day of the week are you likely to be best at your work?

3. Studies show the biggest cause of illness, absenteeism and stress in the workplace is:

A poor air conditioning and ventilation

B emotional distress caused by colleagues

C excessive caffeine

4. What proportion of UK workers says they feel that they 'never have enough time'?

A a quarter

B a third

C two-thirds

5. Companies love to dress up unpromising or unpleasant-sounding occupations in fancy jobspeak. Score a point for each of the following job descriptions you can translate into plain English:

A 'ambient replenishment assistant'

B 'unpremised businessperson'

C 'revenue enhancer'

D 'domestic engineer'

6. What is the average number of hours each Briton spends on the phone per year?

A 23

B 233

C 2333

7. What is the correct way to present a business card to a Chinese businessman?

A remaining seated, place your card on the plate provided and slide it across with a low bow

B stand up and offer the card with the left hand, printed side down - as a gesture of trusting humility

C stand up and hold the card out in both hands, presenting it as if presenting yourself

8. How many people in the UK have a second job?

A 12 million

B 120,000

C 1.2 million

9. What is the most common reason given by British managers for taking a holiday?

A 'time with family'

B 'rest and relaxation'

C 'a break'

D 'time to switch off'

10. What proportion of men say they work 'some or most Sundays' (before even counting second jobs)?

A 1 in 2

B 1 in 5

C 1 in 7

11. True or false: British companies lag behind their European rivals in increasing spending on IT

12. At current rates, the volume of business conducted on the Internet is doubling every ...

A day

B 100 days

C year-and-a-half

13. In email slang, what does IMHO stand for?

14. How much does a five-minute fag break taken by an employee earning £20,000 cost his/her employer?

A 2p

B £1

C £10.20

15. What percentage of British CEOs have been in place for two years or less?

A one-tenth

B one-third

C three-fifths

16. What percentage of managers 'often or always' exceed their working hours?

A 77 per cent

B 87 per cent

C 97 per cent

17. How many British women with families have jobs?

A 35 per cent

B 70 per cent

C 82 per cent

18. What is carpal tunnel syndrome?

A a new psychological condition in which employees suffer excessive anxiety as a result of feeling trapped and impotent in their jobs

B an allergic reaction to industrial disinfectants used by office cleaners

C pressure on the median nerve running from arm to hand - a symptom of repetitive strain injury (RSI)

19. Who earn most: husbands, bachelors or unmarried co-habiters?

20. True or false? A recent survey found that 32 per cent of companies have employees who access sexually explicit Websites during work hours

21. What is the maximum legal temperature for a workplace?

A 16 degrees Celsius

B 26 degrees Celsius

C there isn't one

22. True or false: Prolonged stress can cause brain cells to atrophy

23. When is the best time of day to have a dental appointment in order to minimise sensations of pain?

A early morning

B late afternoon

C mid-evening

24. True or false: One in 500 office workers is at risk of an epileptic attack triggered by their working environment

25. How many people call in sick every day as a result of stress-related factors?

A 2,700

B 27,000

C 270,000

26. 'My boss says my company is not obliged to release me for jury service - and even if it did, would not be obliged to pay me. Can this be right?'

27. Score a point for each one of the nation's top five sickie excuses you can name.

28. How much more time do British men spend with their children now, compared with in 1970?

A 5 per cent

B 50 per cent

C 500 per cent

29. True or false: There really is a self-help book called Winnie-the-Pooh on Management

30. And what percentage of people have had an affair with a workmate?

A 33 per cent

B 43 per cent

C 53 per cent

31. How many office workers say they use email to send love notes?

A 60 per cent

B 90 per cent

C 10 per cent

32. How many children aged five to 12 are thought to return alone to an empty home after school?

A 3,500

B 35,000

C 350,000

33. What percentage of Britons say they would call in sick because of a hangover?

A 9 per cent.

B 19 per cent

C 39 per cent

Answers

SCORE ONE POINT FOR EACH CORRECT ANSWER

1. A 2. Tuesday - and from 10am to noon, according to research from Sussex University's Laboratory of Experimental Psychology 3. A 4. C 5. A shelf-filler B door-to-door salesperson C tax collector D housewife/husband 6. B 7. C 8. C 9. B ('time with family' came fourth) 10. A 11. False: according to a Cisco survey, nearly 30 per cent of UK firms increased IT spending in 1997 by more than 30 per cent, compared to just 11 per cent in both France and Germany 12. B 13. 'In my humble opinion' 14. B 15. B 16. A (UMIST, 1998) 17. B 18. C 19. Husbands. According to research by London's Birkbeck College, husbands earn up to 10 per cent more than singletons or cohabiting men.

When they divorce, however, their wages tend to fall back to pre-married levels 20. False: the figure was actually 62 per cent 21. C. The minimum is 16 degrees Celsius but there is currently no maximum - a situation the TUC is currently lobbying to change 22. True, according to Dr Bruce McEwen, head of neuroendocrinology at New York's Rockefeller University. Memory loss and difficulty concentrating are warning signs 23. B 24. True 25. B 26. Technically, yes to both. There is no law obliging your company to release you for jury service - but it could be held in contempt of court for refusing. Certainly companies are not obliged to pay - though, in practice, many do. Even if they don't, you can claim loss of earnings compensation at a modest daily rate 27. stomach bug, cold or flu, migraine, dental pain, backache 28. C 29. Yes; by Roger E Allen (£6.99, Methuen) 30. A 31. A 32. C 33. A (allegedly)

How did you score?

0-19 Er hello? Is there anyone there? Frankly, we're disappointed. It's not the first time we've had to discuss your motivation levels, is it?

You seem to forget that it's not just yourself you're letting down but the team as a whole. I think we need to both go away and give some serious thought to the way forward in this situation - if, indeed, there is one.

20-29 Not bad. Enough to keep your nose clean and keep the bogeymen at bay, eh? Still, not exactly setting the world on fire. And we had such high hopes when you started. Let me just remind you that there's no room for passengers in this game. And don't think I haven't noticed that jacket-left-on-the-back-of-your-seat-so-no-one-notices - I've-been-down-the-pub-for-the-last-two-hours nonsense.

30 plus Blimey. You are obviously one of those enlightened bosses most of us only dream about. Er, can I have a job please, ma'am?