'We don't put women on the leadership team' - Jacqueline do Rojas on her triumph over adversity

Jacqueline de Rojas CBE, President of TechUK, tells delegates at the Women in Tech Festival about her successful career in IT despite setbacks and initially 'trying to be a man in a man's world'

Jacqueline de Rojas CBE, President of TechUK, has told delegates at the Women in Tech Festival about her triumph over various setbacks in her career in IT, giving a series of 'life lessons' for other to follow.

The festival continues on Tuesday 1st December with another stellar line up - tickets are still available to buy.

De Rojas grew up in Folkestone, with a violent father.

"My mother had a black eye almost every week from violent father. I felt guilty because couldn't protect my mother from my father."

She explained that by the time she was 16 her mother had remarried, but her stepfather didn't treat her well.

"At 16 I came to a fork in the road which set me free. I did well at school, I sought refuge there. On the day of my GCSE results my stepfather snatched the envelope away."

Seeing the results her stepfather asked if she was trying to show him up.

"I decided I was going to have to make a choice. I've spent my entire life trying to show him how amazing I could be and what I could do. That striving for unlocking my potential has meant that my life goals are stratospheric. And my fear of failure is so high it causes me to check every detail more than once. Nothing moves in my world without my permission. Ask my family how annoying that can be!"

De Rojas added that combining her ambition with a high focus on execution achieved great results which constantly surprised her.

Initially hoping to become a newsreader for the BBC, she instead found herself falling into IT by accident, working in technology recruitment, then at a fast-growing tech startup. Wondering how to get on in the industry, she decided to copy others.

"I looked for people to copy. I thought it was a cheat's way of getting on, but these days we call them role models. And they were all male of course, being in tech. I spent my early career emulating what the men did, even wearing a tie to work trying to fit in. I became a scary boss lady, metaphorically eating razor blades for breakfast and becoming a terrifying alpha female. I'm sure I was someone's nightmare boss in my early career. I was successful, but not fulfilled."

She explained that it took a decade to realise that she'd always be disappointed and would always be an angry feminist banging her head against the glass ceiling.

"Not because I was a woman in a man's world, but because I was a woman trying to be a man in a man's world. It is certainly my own self-limiting belief that I thought you had to be a man to make it."

Be authentic

De Rojas gave her first life lesson as 'be authentic'.

"Life is simpler when you're being your authentic self. Under pressure the real you shows up anyway."

Skipping ahead to 1999 de Rojas was now a single mum, determined to do her best for her family. She was now working in technology sales, but no longer wanted to emulate the men around her.

"I decided there must be a better way to achieve successful results than that 90 day cycle of throwing as much mud at the wall as you can. And quarter ends were way too stressful and unpredictable for a control freak.

"I decided to be the best but my way. I created teams of people who understood customer problems better than the customer. I hired teams for their curiosity and empathy, not sales experience. I also created teams based on strengths, so when we did hit bumps in the road, under pressure they became the best versions of themselves. These teams didn't look like swaggering alpha sales people, they didn't lead with their egos, but their questions. They got results.

"I had teams of hundreds of people and we probably out-performed every team that had come before us. We shifted the business from farming renewals to a new business sales engine. It was a machine that could operate consistently under pressure."

In fact it was so successful that de Rojas found herself competing to become CEO of the organisation's UK operation.

"My main competitor had 30 times less revenue and only a handful of people under him. He got the job. When I asked for feedback, I was told 'I'm sorry we simply don't put women on the leadership team'. I was devastated and incredulous. I thought life would be fair if you worked hard enough."

But rather than letting the experience get the better of her, de Rojas chose to learn from it.

Look for the miracle

"I chose to reframe it as a learning experience. Being a survivor I'm at my best when I'm in a corner. There's always a miracle if you look hard enough. The miracle was at least he said it out loud. Because if I had been there for another five years banging my head against the glass ceiling, I think that would've really hurt.

"So the second life lesson is always look for the miracle. Because there is one if you look hard enough."

She left that firm and found a new organisation, and more importantly, she says, a new culture. She became a Managing Director at this firm, admitting that she actually had no idea what the role entailed.

"I thought I have no idea what a Managing Director does. That imposter syndrome was nagging away at the back of my head. It got so loud sometimes I just needed to find a strategy to turn the volume down.

"There I was behind my very big desk, with an office so big had its own boardroom table. There was a bar in the corner, and a fancy, efficient assistant outside guarding the door. I hoped every day that no one would realise they'd hired the wrong person.

Look outwards

"What does a survivor do in that scenario? It taught me the biggest of my life lessons. Always look outwards not inwards. In that scenario I didn't have any of the answers. I didn't know what an MD was supposed to do, so I changed my style from knowing things to not knowing things. I focused on asking questions. I decided I would ask a question every time I was asked to make a decision.

"I discovered how little everyone else knew. And that there are a set of world class questions which are devastatingly simple. I was learning martial art Aikido at the time, which translates as 'gentle art'. It's about using the strength of your opponent to your advantage. It taught me you can leverage the energy around you. You don't have to leave dead bodies around you, that's an art form in itself."

You're a role model

De Rojas moved on to her fourth life lesson, which is that people are role models whether they choose to be or not.

"My father and step father and all the other bullies who propelled me to a place where I was stronger were role models not through great behaviour, but because I didn't want to be anything like them. Others watch your behaviour, your personal brand is arguably what others say about you when you leave the room. My advice would be to take control of it.

"Powerful people never get there by accident. I learnt to take control of my destiny and not let fear get in the way. I had that voice in my head telling me I wasn't worthy or good enough and would get found out. But my desire to survive stopped me imagining all those ghosts telling me I wasn't good enough.

"But how many people do you know who could've been something, but because fear, disguised as practicality, got in the way they didn't do it after all?

"In my experience success is always on the other side of fear. Life doesn't always go in straight lines from A to B. Life isn't always fair and that's just part of it."

She summarised by explaining that she has spent time understanding what her values are, then attempting to stay true to them.

"I still have those survivalist attributes, but I have managed to tap into my authetnic self by being true to my values: family, generosity, integrity. Also compassion and epathy are secret weapons. I'm no longer frightened to show my vulnerability and anxiety. They make me more authentic."

Don't miss day two of the Women in Tech Festival.